21 Jul 2014

Five author rap battles that need to happen - an Epic Rap Battles of History wishlist

For those of you who don't know, Epic Rap Battles of History is a YouTube channel that pits famous people from history and fictional characters head-to-head in a rap battle, including well-known authors like Dr. Seuss vs. William Shakespeare and Stephen King vs. Edgar Allen Poe.

There's still a pretty big gap in the literary department, so here is an Epic Rap Battles of History author wishlist.

J.K. Rowling vs. George R.R. Martin

Both George R.R. Martin and J.K. Rowling have had runaway success with the adaptations of their novels into TV and film respectively.

Plus, both authors are (in)famous for killing off characters that we as readers have grown to love. It'll be an epic stand off between the two.

Neil Gaiman vs. H.P. Lovecraft

Neil Gaiman and H.P. Lovecraft are both masters of the strange. While Gaiman's tales take a more whimsical route than the horror-filled Lovecraft, both have a penchant for weirdness that would show well in a rap battle.

Whatever Lovecraft's rap would be, I hope that he would manage to fit in "Ia! Ia! Cthulu Fthgen!" in there somewhere.

George Orwell vs. Aldous Huxley

This one is a tad obvious, but it's an important one nonetheless. Both considered masters of classical science-fiction - George Orwell taking the route that humanity needed pain to control us; Aldous Huxley believed that it would be humanity's desire for pleasure and distraction that would be our ruin.

The opposing views on similar themes would be an excellent setting for a battle.

J.R.R. Tolkien vs. Robert Jordan 

(with back-up from Christopher Tolkien vs. Brandon Sanderson)

Two heavyweights in the fantasy genre, and both had their legacies continued after their passing. Christopher Tolkien took up the mantle and published the rest of J.R.R. Tolkien's stories, and Brandon Sanderson finished the Wheel of Time series based on Robert Jordan's notes.

With heavy hitters such as these, it's going to get messy.

Terry Pratchett vs. Douglas Adams

The classic sci-fi vs. fantasy battle. The twist is that both authors are known for their humour and their satire, which would make any rap battle between the two hilarious.

Rincewind vs. Arthur Dent, Samuel Vimes vs. Marvin the Paranoid Android, Nanny Ogg vs. Zaphod Beeblebrox - there's a good counterpoint within each author's creation that lends itself to a battle that would leave the audience in stitches.

Here are a few suggestions from you guys:

Who would you choose to go head-to-head in an author rap battle? Let me know in the comments!

About Jamie
Jamie Gibbs is a life-long geek and leans towards anything with sorcery, dragons or obscure pop culture references.
You can follow him on at @mithrilwisdom for a daily dose of fanboy discourse.


  1. Gaiman versus Lovecraft - it would be weird, all right.
    Patterson versus King. No idea who would win.

    1. Good call on Patterson vs. King. Based on King vs. Poe, King would be a hard one to beat

  2. These are awesome match-ups! I'd love to see any of them. Now I'm going to be thinking about all the other "battle" possibilities out there!

    1. There are plenty to be had - I only focussed on sci-fi/fantasy :)


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